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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Simple strategies for dealing with them. For example, if youre working on a group project, try and delegate tasks between yourself and the other coworkers who you know will do a good job. Commuting to work is so easy for me, and I'd hate to have to wake up an hour earlier to get there. First, you must avoid saying anything wrong which makes him upset Secondly, you should take small steps to get serious about the topic. Inculpating someone vulnerable cant justify your approach to fixing the problem. A difficult person in your life might not have a full-blown personality disorder; they may just have related traits that express themselves from time to time. Not only do they undermine people right in front of them, but they also have a tendency to make you feel bad about your emotions. Minimizing your exposure to pathology goes a long, long way. For the purposes of this post, here's a short list of the types of people I would lump into the "unreasonable": Now, here are the things I've learned about how to handle them and minimize the damage to yourself, your days, your sanity, and your life: Keep your interactions as short as possible. Humiliation and discrimination can be drastically affected him. They are aware of their actions and might not want to hurt your relationship. So take a deep breath, remember that you cant change them, and focus on your own work performance. You know they'll only argue with you anyway. Try not to let the actions of a dumb coworker control your emotions or work experience. There is always a reason for their failure which is out of their hands, and it is always up toyouto sort it out. Toxic people are often the first to place blame when something goes wrong. Envy is an uncomfortable emotion that people tend to want to suppress. Discuss it with your close ones only if you need to help yourself and that stupid one. 3. Dating Women The Psychology of Motivation: Why Is Motivation So Powerful? But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.. Dumb people might have already faced and gone through a lot of ridicule and rejection, and might be shy and reticent to ask you for further explanations. There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. Here's why some are inclined to choose Machiavellianism. The thing is, there might be a clear list of characteristics describing someone with borderline, antisocial, or narcissistic PD in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). When a foolish or unkind person realizes they can run you they will do so until you curse the day you ever gave them any credit. offering to chop vegetables in the kitchen before a family dinner). "The new sushi place has a great deal on sashimi. Namely, compliments and gestures of love. Keep in mind that they cannot help it if they are not as skilled or knowledgeable as you are and I'm sure they're not trying to annoy you. Interacting with them might just make you feel really bad about yourself, or they may say and do things that don't sit quite right with you. In order to avoid them however, you must first recognize the signs of a manipulative person. Toxic people will often go out of their way to give arbitrary, vague, non-committal or misleading answers to questions. They will avoid debating those topics which they dont know exactly. Now she won't talk to me. Funny Remind yourself to take deep breaths and count to ten before reacting to their incompetence. They will just as easily betray your trust. Working in a challenging environment might increase their ability to act more efficiently. For instance, if youre trying to convince a stubborn person to try a new restaurant, you could say something like, Lets try that new taco place. They only live fifteen minutes away, so it won't be a trek, either. Ive had to turn to a few seconds of controlled breathing at work on more occasions than I can remember, and it always works. Unreasonable people usually don't care, and their response (or lack of it) will often only make you more upset. And I'm testing out different strategies for how to deal with them. True Love. They are just trying to get something from you. End your sentences with a declarative statement. Amidst a daily pattern of low-grade irritation at a co-worker's annoying habits and idiosyncrasies, you may not notice exactly how much he or she aggravates you on a deeper, personal level. More often, to deal with stupid people this is important to be aware of your temperament first. Inspiration Calmly tell her you don't have enough money to loan to anyone right now - and tell her you have been stressed out about it, which is why you didn't offer it in the first place. % of people told us that this article helped them. Dont Blame Them For Their Stupidity: 12. When someone's behavior seems off, it might be more than just a mood. Instead of being impatient and getting short-tempered with a dumb person, always remind yourself how lucky you are to have a smart and sensible approach. Even though we all work in the same office. I have a stubborn girlfriend who is a good person, but she keeps wanting to break up! I know you love churros, theyre supposed to have the best in town. Its also important that you stay calm and resist the temptation to get into an argument with a stubborn person. But having said that". 1. I'm so impressed by how you're able to keep your act together during such a stressful time. A social circle should never revolve around one person. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. In this post, we will show you how. Start with this statement, your suggestion is considerable. They will drag you down to their levels and then beat you with experience. Stay neutral. 1. Life is hard; its even harder when you have to deal with stupid people. Social Media Somehow, look busy is a strategy to prevent illogical dialogues that can defuse negative thoughts and stress. Emotions Sometimes we have to interact with a few dumb people who may cause a lot of annoyance in our lives. [8] 4. Dating After that, you can talk about taking out the trash more often, vacuuming the carpet, and so on. Works for everybody. You could also suggest for them to ask their manager or another coworker for help instead. Learn multiple smart ways to use your intelligence and. This can be a harsh way to handle that person. Liars end up exposing themselves over time, by contradicting themselves with otherlies. Sometimes it seems difficult to face sheer stupidity. By using our site, you agree to our. Here's the curious and funny thing about Wheeler's bank robbery: To conceal his identity, Wheeler decided to cover his face with Lemon Juice. Assure them that you are getting their point during conversation and grasp them with reasonable arguments. If this is the case, the best course of action is to pay little or no attention to that person, and instead spend more time with the quieter and more reserved members of the group. They live as we all should live-- undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet. They also gently provoke other people in a bid to obtain extra information. Insults come in many forms, but the most cleverly-disguised insults are actually disguised as compliments. Nicolette Tura, MA. Increase Your Knowledge to Deal with Stupid People: Knowledge is power, and you must gather it when you are dealing with a person who even can't have it. Keep in mind that they cannot help it if they are not as skilled or knowledgeable as you are and Im sure theyre not trying to annoy you. Here are 15 ways how to deal with dumb coworkers tactfully and professionally: Patience is going to be your best friend when dealing with a dumb coworker that frustrates you to no end. If you're nervous about what you have to propose, practice it in advance. Maybe they are good at some sort of specific skills. See if you and the stubborn individual can meet somewhere in the middle. Many people who are smarter than stupid ones may have different life experiences in performing in this manner. People with difficult personalities can be smart, and people with lower intelligence can be joys to work with. Its true, never argue with stupid people. This will prevent any unprofessional outbursts or arguments with your coworker. Self-pitying people live in a vacuous maelstrom of misery, and make absolutely no effort to effect any change in their lives. 2. Here are 14 habits of stupid people. Respect them as much as you can, even for what they are not able to understand consciously about them. They do this to emancipate themselves from having to make any effort to right the wrong. Do not take the bait. If you keep trying to make a stubborn person see your point of view to no avail at all, then you may end up being the stubborn one. Handling toxic people cleverlymeans telling them they are at fault, and refusing to accept their excuses. The disrespect the person is showing has nothing to . The stubborn person you are dealing with is, most likely, is not a bad person. This one is tough, but very important. Know when your hopes are well-founded and how to turn your deep desires into results. Giving up the hope and fully accepting this person for who they really are can be an unbelievable relief after what is sometimes a lifetime of wishing. Work-Life Integration vs Work-Life Balance: Is One Better Than the Other? The lengths a toxic person will go to avoid giving a satisfactory answer are incredible. Check our playlist "Self Love" https://www.youtube.com/watchv=qOMDUVost9I&list=PLm3FORdFXG7XwGsh_OHNdDj_vMMIN. Fully understand both sides of the argument before confronting them. Work Life Balance for Women: What It Means & How to Find It, The Power of Leverage in Leading the Life You Want, The Key to Creating a Vibrant (And Magical Life) by Lee Cockerell, 9 Tips on How To Disconnect From Work And Stay Present. ", "Moving to San Francisco from Oakland would have a lot of benefits, just like you said. Enjoy! When you feel sad, they have a cunning way of making you . If you can get them to do something that absorbs their attention (taking it off you), even better. Knowledge is power, and you must gather it when you are dealing with a person who even cant have it. The Way You Use a Mouse Says a Lot About Your Personality, Borderline and Narcissistic Personality: Differences and Similarities, The Truth About Schizoid Personality Disorder, Demystifying Rape Myths: The Dark Tetrad and Masculine Norms, There May Be 3 Types of Borderline Personality Disorder, How to Deal with Avoidant Personality in Romantic Relationships. If you don't give in easily, the stubborn person will actually respect you more and will be more likely to value your opinion. And even then, if you're really emotionally ensnarled you might not be able to spot it on your own. Whatever the reason behind a coworker frustrating you is and no matter how much its affecting you, you just need to let it go. It will lower your self-confidence, which can make them more powerful to behave in such a manner all the time. (Credit: Thinkstock) If self-deprecation isn't your strong suit, there is a simple strategy to deflate those biases: pick the exact . It just means that you have been rational and know when there's nothing else that can be done. We're all narcissists. "I'd really love to check out the new sushi place down the street. That is not what we are talking about when we talk about how to deal with stupid people. They certainly have been for me! Sometimes, for your mental well-being, this is important to escape contact with these annoying people. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Masters degree is Sociology from San Jose State University Talking about things helps, it helps a lot. On the contrary, in some cases where you have to socially interact with such people who never miss a chance to make things unbearable and annoying for you, silence is the best reply to them. Don't try to fix them. But remember that their lack of skills or knowledge has nothing to do with you. Just follow along. Volunteer minimal information and get them talking about themselves (if you have to be around them or talk to them, that is)they are a far safer conversation subject than you are. 14 Effective Ways to Handle A Narcissist. Some level of self-pity is totally healthy, after a nasty breakup, a death in the family or something similar, but there is always a point where you have to grow up and accept responsibility for your own destiny, because its nobody elses job but yours. 1. We'll still hang out with them for a bit, but it won't take up our whole night.". Those you can't have a reasonable conversation with; they somehow twist your words or totally confuse you and then tell you that you're the one who doesn't know how to communicate, People who make subtly or overtly demeaning comments or say, Those that don't respect boundaries and seem to enjoy stepping all over one after you've placed it, The types that aren't willing to consider your point of view or listen to your side of things (or just stare at you blankly, or laugh, or explode, when you try to explain "how you feel"), Verbal or emotional abusers (these can also range from subtle to overt), People who leave you feeling bad, sad, shaky, or feeling sick in the pit of your stomach, "Crazymakers," a.k.a. As Albert Einstein once said, Everybody is a genius. Fewer expectations help you get more benefits through this procedure. Its a divisive and manipulative method of gaining friends or power in a social group. The first clue is that someone who is playing dumb will take great care to allow other people to talk. I'm a very verbal, heart-focused person, so I would always try to connect with and reason with these types (and pretty much anyone else) from an emotional or empathic perspective. - Ignore, engage, insult? Do you get the suspicion that youre being deceived? I loaned her money before. ", "I'd really like to spend more time with Sarah and Mike. Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Expert based in the San Francisco Bay Area. What can I do? In contrast to the point made previously, clever people will develop a strong support network of loyal and trustworthy people. The second type of people does exist, and they dont accept that they are stupid. Remind yourself! people who provoke you into acting crazy or unbalanced (and love making you feel like there's something wrong with you when you do), when your behaviour across the rest of your life is proof that you're not, The excessively charming who are too good to be true and have an ulterior motive. ", "It was your idea to move to Oakland, remember? You must know about the facts of using this intelligence first and then put yourself to encounter the problem. You must make up your mind before start talking. Nicolette is a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher with a Psychology & Mindfulness Major, a NASM certified Corrective Exercise Specialist, and an expert in psychophysiology with experience in nervous system regulation and breath work. Highlighting their vulnerabilities publicly makes it more complex. We can use that extra money to go to Costa Rica this summer, just like you wanted to do. To get the best from them, try three tactics. You may often feel urged to tell your close ones about their stupidity and your struggle to deal with it. Clever people know that true friendship and fidelity is one of the rarest and most valuable commodities you will ever have in life, and they will not allow this to be corrupted by toxic, negative and untrustworthy people. We are talking about mentally capable people who may not be as smart as they think they are, lack mental curiosity, and end up making the same mistakes again and again. Be as firm as possible with the individual and let them know that you won't cave into their demands. ", "I've been craving sushi for weeks. Try talking to her about it. This is tough but a very important way to learn. For example, if your in-laws always make cracks about your choice of career, answer neutrally and change the subject immediately (see #4) if they ask you how work is going. Don't correct them if they are about to make a mistake. Make them think they've come up with the idea on their own. Manipulative people are cunning and sly and can work a situation or a work with a sense of confidence that makes you feel icky. When you get an understanding of their capability and strength, it will be easier for you to realize how talented they are in some corner of creativity. Do you find yourself constantly feeling strong or unstable emotions when they are around; anger, irritation, sadness, or inadequacy? In this situation, you can lose your self-control and possibly let them destroy your peace of mind. Especially for those who think in their way and never accept to change their perspective at any cost. No matter how bad they are at their jobs, more often than not youre going to have to make the best of the situation until your manager does something about them. Related 10 signs your coworker is lazy! Try not to let your frustrations get the best of you and make them feel bad about their skills or intelligence. Head down. The important thing is that you approach the topic in a professional way as this will make it much more likely that theyll take your concerns seriously. If you feel like your dumb coworker is getting too much to handle, try some breathing exercises or take a short break. Toxic people will often try to win over certain people by showering them with compliments. ", "That's so true -- I would miss our little farmer's market way too much if we left Oakland.". It's not a sure thing. Document, document, document their behavior. Facts Exploring The First-Name Effect: Racism in The Courtroom, How to Use Music to Reconnect With a Dementia Patient, When Apes Laugh, They Offer a Window Into Human Evolution, 35 Years After My Brother's Suicide, I Give Thanks, 3 Reasons Why You Feel Overpowered by Your Partner, Always Wishing You Had a Better Life? Toxic people will bully and take advantage of anybody who they think wont stand up to them, which is why its so important to stand up to toxic people, not just for yourself, but for others around you. 1 Calm and center yourself. Try to find common ground with the stubborn person, as this might help them see things from your perspective. This is important to ensure that your mind is clear and to avoid any irrational responses. Keep your head up, maintain eye contact, and don't let the person make you hunch over or look at the floor when you're talking. But if you understand that stubborn people are just afraid of bruising their egos and doing something new, you can make them feel more comfortable -- and convince them to see your side of the story. Related Here are reasons why slackers get promoted over you! If you have to work with dumb or underskilled coworkers on a daily basis, I know how frustrating it can be. Unfortunately, lies are actually very hard to keep up. If so, it is likely that the person is trying to toy with your emotions, and are best avoided. Although, you should not react immediately and keep your emotions in check constantly. Toxic people will try to manipulate peoples emotions to engineer a social group to suit their needs. They will help to put something right, whether they had any part in it or not. 5) Give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish they'd be. But I really think we should give them another chance. Posted January 20, 2012 Some people who seem to be "unreasonable" may have a personality disorder. Takeaway. They have some social values and positions as you have in your social circle. How to Be Happy Anyway, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Teach Your Brain to Succeed at and Enjoy Public Speaking, Harness the Power of Envy to Benefit Yourself and Others, Fight Back Against 'Microstress' in Your Work and Life, Making Sense of Cluster C Personality Disorders, Comparing Narcissistic and Antisocial Personality, You Dont Know What Its Like to Be Around You, How Your Personality Predicts Your Romantic Life, The Top 10 Personality Disorders: Symptoms and Signs, 3 Rules to Power Through Your Turbulent Twenties, 4 Potent Ways to Deepen Love and Intimacy, How to Decide Whether to Cut Someone Out of Your Life. That person will become dauntless to playing with your emotions and drives you crazy at their irresistible mental levels. Blaming somebody for a problem shows that you are afraid of confronting it; helping to resolve a problem shows real leadership. Save up for that. Self Help I've missed hanging out with you. Texting It will definitely help you to understand their point of view more clearly. Putting yourself in their position may help you find some understanding and patience for them. After spending time with this person, she'll often explode in the car on the way home, and her boyfriend looks at her like she's nuts. Thats how it will be easy to deal with stupid people. The best thing to do is take a big breath, let it out slowly and focus on breathing comfortably. Luckily, there are a number of ways to avoid letting toxic people rule your life, employed by clever people who have usually dealt with toxic people in the past. Youll often hear a toxic person saying that they cant pay you back because they cant finda job, and they cant find a job because they havent got any qualifications, and they havent got any qualifications because their teachers mistreated them at school, etc. This article was co-authored by Nicolette Tura, MA. A dummy purchaser is an agent who buys property on behalf of another, usually to conceal the true purpose of the acquisition. This way, you don't have to do exactly what they want. Undoubtedly, when you want to stop someone dumping litter on your property, report the illegal dumping of waste or garbage to the police immediately. And more so, dont get hung up on trying to improve their performance. And if you dont, well, then youre just the same as everybody else whose mistreated them throughout the terrible ordeal that is their life. Of. Sincerely, I'm With Stupid Dear IWS, You can't always choose the people you work with, but if a hire makes work harder for you and others you certainly have cause to complain. Dissociation, social fears, and a deep lack of trust. Most decent people will help the helpless, defend the vulnerable and assist those who need it. It could be somebody whose a little shy, socially awkward, or even somebody who lacks physical prowess. However, I do think that it has more to do with a lack of employee satisfaction than with the new projects we've been assigned. to get my free daily emails.Written Version & N. For instance, a shopping mall developer may hire a dummy buyer to purchase the needed vacant lots. ", "You're right -- we can meet up with Sarah and Mike this weekend. Personality Read and collect details as much as you can, watch the news and read the latest psychological research. Dont let them ruin your whole day and make you feel more riled up. Secondly, most of the time, stupid people make you disappointed. Remember you said you were having a craving for fried ice cream? "I'd be open to moving to Berkeley. Toxic people will often lie compulsively, not just to others, but to themselves. You can try to offer guidance or support, and Im sure you can help them a lot, but ultimately its up to them if they want to improve themselves and their performance.