3. "These peers are resentful," Hakim writes. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, Maya, I can see you're in a bind, but I can't help you because I'm so far behind in my own work. While each of these issues must still be addressed, its helpful to know whether your lazy coworkers approach is intentional or unintentional, due to extenuating circumstances. Psychologist Amy Cooper Hakim, an expert on employer-employee relationships, says this is a problem many people face. See yourself as a complement to the person. 2023 American Management Association. Consider that the know-it-all may display this personality trait because of a deep-seated insecurity and lack of confidence. Don't stop suggesting great ideas just because you have a co-worker like this. Shes an experienced employee and rarely has to ask for help. Looking at it in this cold, factual way is an important step in moving toward that aforementioned sweet spot. People who like learning also enjoy sharing their knowledge. 9 Classic Strategies of Manipulative People | Psychology Today Put as much actual physical space as possible between yourself and the negative person, too. Not only will this hurt your reputation, it will also give your superior less of an incentive to resolve the problem. Here they are, mean coworkers are healthy working environment busters and what is even worst they may destroy your personality. But it was quickly clear to her and her new boss that she had valuable technical skills and experience. (Compromise), Step 5: Agree on the Resolution We promise we won't spam you and you can unsubscribe anytime. Clear communication and productive feedback will help you work with a perfectionist and anxious co-worker. "If you got hired with all these brainiacs, there was something about you that said more than your academic credentials." How to deal with disrespectful coworkers? Required fields are marked *, Notify me of followup comments via e-mail, /* So, what is neutral body language? If you begin the conversation with a short fuse, youre likely to lose your temper and escalate the issue rather than remedy it. In todays society, there is no place for a closed-minded person. A typical visceral response is frustration. has identified four different personality types and how they respond to authority. Don't compare pedigrees, because they are more a reflection of luck and hard work than intelligence. Those with the questioner personality type are very much internally motivated. 1. We also recommend you document your attempts to remedy the situation, such as records of yourself addressing your colleagues. Id appreciate it in the future if you respect that I know what Im doing. Attentive. Repeat. Then show management how your lazy coworkers are hurting the company. Here's How to Use Emotional Intelligence to Calm Your Own Anger Understand that a lot of your coworkers' smarts probably comes from years of experience. Youd almost be impressed if it didnt mean you were forced to work overtime and constantly cover for your lazy coworker. Human beings typically seek attention as positive reinforcement. You need experience, strong relationships, social capital, and emotional intelligence, she says. If you try to draw too much attention to yourself and you don't know what you're doing, you'll quickly lose respect. Case study #2: Make your boss look good Soon after Abike Eze* became a marketing and business development manager at a financial services company based in Lagos, Nigeria, he got a new boss well call her Rose. Simple phrases like, Sorry, Im slammed with my own work and need to meet these deadlines, or, Id love to help, but I just dont have the bandwidth right now, are non-confrontational ways to ensure youre not overworked or enabling lazy coworkers. Simon is a creative and passionate business leader dedicated to having fun in the pursuit of high performance and personal development. We pulled out some of the best answers and highlighted them below: Have confidence. Be ready that this kind of coworker will be impatient, unfriendly, disrespectful, and hypercritical. Try to move the emphasis away from people and back to the issue or idea, the psychologist suggests. Just because theyre goofing off doesnt mean you should too. HBR Learnings online leadership training helps you hone your skills with courses like Managing Your Boss. After awhile, you'll be able to contribute as much as those around you. Do you feel like you can't keep up? 2. Im sorry Ive made you feel devalued., Thank you, Grace said. , "How did you adjust to working with smarter people?,". Stick it out if none of your coping strategies . Determination and drive can carry you much further than natural intelligence. As you have an open and honest discussion with lazy coworkers, do your best to put yourself in their shoes. So be professional when you speak with your boss. Its like an art form to them and theyre really good at it. Why This Works When it comes to an emotionally cold person, the chances are that the more you push the colder they will become. "These colleagues are so determined to score points with the boss that they block whatever you toss out for consideration and tackle you instead of the problem," she writes. How to Improve Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace If instead, she said it in a flat tone, sighing, while rolling her eyes, you would know it was sarcastic and assume she disliked your idea. Saraswati Chandra, Work harder. When you are faced by such a closed-minded attitude by your management, you should try your very best to focus on your point of view. To motivate a rebel, try making assignments a challenge, Bob said we couldnt finish this project by the end of the week, think we can?. This kind of personality is difficult to communicate and work with but therere some advices how to deal with a coworker who is out to get you. Even so, the fact remains that I have higher emotional intelligence than this coworker; after all, Im not the one putting down others in my workplace. But he was very open to learning and being shown how things should be done, Patricia says. Don't be surprised by anything the person says. Here are few types of difficult co-workers, along with some tips on how to handle them: A "tackler" is a coworker who attacks you personally while arguing an issue, according to Hakim. By thinking first, then speaking assertively and respectfully, she had a constructive conversation with him. Once youve taken a moment to actively ignore the negative statement, you can reengage the coworker who makes you feel incompetent. Humility is the way to go, he says. People notice and worry youll talk about them the same way, says Hill. You have to find a higher purpose, says McKee. Take a break. Sign up for notifications from Insider! As time passes, there is a probability that they will accept their wrong and change their views. This is why children seeking attention throw tantrums they know even if their action is negative, the consequence will be the positive attention they seek. But the truth is, if their lackadaisical behavior doesnt directly affect you, its probably not a problem you should address. Morgan Missen, Don't worry about being noticed at first. The Pygmalion effect in psychology has shown how believing that something is true can make it true. You will need to bear in mind that most of the times, you will fail at convincing such people and when that happens, the best way for you will be to leave the situation to avoid conflict. Realize that the alternative to working with smarter people is working with people who are less intelligent or experienced as you, which would probably be less educational and challenging. If youre dealing with negative coworkers like this put as much actual physical space as possible between yourself and the negative person to avoid personality conflict. If, on the other hand, the situation is truly unbearable, get help. Managing wannabe smart employees can be difficult, but leading genuinely intelligent employees isn't always easy. Step 1: Think First Before Grace approached Kyle, she took time to calm down and diffuse her anger. You bristle when she talks down to you. Five tips for dealing with an inconsiderate coworker * Rose moved to marketing from HR and had no background in the function. Yes, of course Ill agree to that. If she doesnt understand the technical ins and outs of your product, offer to cover the part of a meeting where the features will be discussed. You may be tempted to ignore lazy behavior rather than address it. It gets trickier if this closed-minded co-worker is also intelligent and sharp. After all, feelings of joy, excitement, compassion, or optimism usually don't affect others in a negative way. "Colleagues such as these are just plain self-centered and inconsiderate of others.". Instead, realize that lazy work affects your reputation. All Rights Reserved. Youve honestly assessed the situation and decided that the behavior of your lazy coworkers must be addressed. Don't: Assume that you're . If you lead your complaint with managerial benefits, theyll be much more likely to deal with lazy coworkers. Doug Edwards, Understand that your coworkers are human, too. I learned to have plenty of patience and to be a solution seeker. This way of thinking helped me get the job I have today.. Ask yourself, does their laziness prohibit me from doing my job effectively? and, am I constantly forced to work harder and cover for their poor performance? Also, are the habits of my lazy coworkers reflecting badly on me?. By clicking Sign up, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider 6 Brilliant Ways To Convince Your Boss To Invest In Business Nitpickers are the must at any office workplace. You are part of a profiting and successful organisation. They come off as self-centered and pompous and easily irk you, especially if you know how to do your job well. Top editors give you the stories you want delivered right to your inbox each weekday. Skills-based candidate screening and hiring, to deal with lazy coworkers, we first need to decide whether you. But they have a very hard time self-motivating. Id also like to know I can count on you when I need help, but unless I ask, Id like to be able to complete my projects by myself without your input. (Compromise). When they took their afternoon break, Grace said: Kyle, theres something I want to talk to you about. Common Negative Emotions at Work Determination and drive can carry you much further than natural intelligence. It's okay to not contribute every single opinion during meetings and projects. Keep stating: I'm sorry, but I can't talk right now. Here are four steps you can take to manage a team with an emotionally needy member. 14.4K More answers below Quora User Middle School Counselor Author has 1.7K answers and 1.1M answer views 8 y Work very very hard to minimize defensiveness. Let them know that their work habits are affecting you and youre not able to do your job properly. Failing that, you have no choice but . Be a. your lazy coworker to do their job. Be Honest About the Issue. This should be your first attempt to bring an end to the problem. But when you told me what you were working on, Id already completed a project like that. After confronting a lazy coworker, take time to seek the counsel of others regarding next steps. Be explicit about what you want. Learn to voice your thoughts. Unfortunately, sometimes you may find yourself wondering how to deal with negative coworkers in the mix. To motivate an obliger, simply make known the task and ask them, point blank, to accomplish it. Because I dont want to continue to feel devalued when you offer input, Id like for us to resolve this. (Compromise), She continued. It's difficult to get smarter, but you can always work harder than someone else. as well as other partner offers and accept our. Because conflict tends to promote competition and antagonism, you should strive to frame the situation in a positive light. Do you mind if we spend a couple hours together over the next few months? You can choose to see every opportunity as a way to learn, McKee says. Give yourself some time, and you'll eventually gain an edge. Its to managements benefit that laziness in the workplace is addressed. ", Avoid sharing personal details if you dont want to become a star of the office rumors, If everything above doesnt work say straight that youre not a fan of workplace gossips, Be specific and confident in explaining your point of view, If it doesnt help be straight and dont be afraid of telling the truth directly, Use non-negotiable statements instead of polite question, If nothing works ignore this person and talk to you HR, Confront problems with them out in the open, Use tact and good timing for conversations, Try to create a safe space for them to feel heard and validated, Create a kind of bubble to protect from his/her threats, If you disagree with this person say it without smoothing things over. Seek out other mentors to help you learn and grow. Ask for Clarification from the Coworker Who Makes You Feel Incompetent. This rigidity of attitude can further strengthen if co-workers who do not ever question their judgment surround them. Jealous coworkers are easy to detect but not easy to deal with. This doesn't mean you have to cave to their assertion that you and them are equals. Your goal is to stop the behavior thats directed at you. quidem quis tempora veniam. The good news is that, even though you cant change everyone elses behavior, you always can change your own. Ask your coworker to meet one-on-one and bring up your concerns with honest, neutral language. Starting from a simply complain about an untasty coffee to the misunderstanding with a partner. Remaining Confident Around Coworker Who Makes Me Feel Incompetent. Remaining Confident Around Coworker Who Makes Me Feel Incompetent, 2. Im glad we talked this out because I do respect you, and I wouldnt want anything like this coming between us. (Resolution, Reconciliation). Actively ignoring negative behavior requires you to momentarily stop paying attention to your coworker. Don't let your insecurities influence your interactions with people. Sit down with your employee, explain what you're seeing and hearing, and ask him or her for feedback. Even though she heads the marketing unit, I am responsible for coming up with the strategy to grow the business and for cutting costs, he says. Placeat? He is co-founder of Truthsayers Neurotech, the world's first Neurotech platform servicing the enterprise. 3 Simple Design Tips For Creating Effective Business Signs, Why I do the Sardine Fast (youre gonna say Yuck! It is likely that the more impressive they are, the less arrogant they are, because they have probably all met people smarter than they were. Before Grace approached Kyle, she took time to calm down and diffuse her anger. Do you feel like you can't keep up? How to Deal With Less Intelligent People - wikiHow Tacklers A "tackler" is a coworker who attacks you personally while arguing an issue, according to Hakim. Rumors at the office. Who is even worse than disrespectful coworker is a hostile one. Accelerate your career with Harvard ManageMentor. She is aware of what Abike does for her and returns the favor, saying good things about him to their boss. Five tips for dealing with inconsiderate coworkers. A bad co-worker doesn't mean that you should dread going to work. More than that, they believe they should have what you have.". Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. Earn badges to share on LinkedIn and your resume. By ignoring their behavior, you are showing that it merits no recognition, good or bad. The AMA offers valuable resources to help, such as this webinar on solving communication problems. Also, theres a difference between occasionally helping or covering for a colleague and doing their job for them. "Imposers take unfair advantage of your time, talent and good nature," Hakim writes. But be prepared, because the person may not back down and take responsibility. But were not quite done yet! How well acquainted are you with each of these resources? Before we dive into how to deal with lazy coworkers, we first need to decide whether you should actually deal with them. Closed-minded people have a very deep depth of stubbornness. If the answer to any of these questions is yes, by all means, address the situation. Not only will it be better for you, it will also be better for the company as a whole. Take a birds-eye view approach and dont make your complaint about your personal discomfort, but the success of the company in general. In fact, any interaction with someone who is close-minded is a real test of your patience and your persuasive skills. It is very difficult to persuade and convince these people and at times, it will be best to accept that they simply will not change. Make sure that it's clean, well-lit, and comfortable. When someone asks something of them, theyll get it done. For more detailed tips, check out Hakim's book. And how do you get what you need without making your boss look bad? You have developed a good plan and you are sure that it will work for the companys best interests. After awhile, you'll be able to contribute as much as those around you. They behave in phony ways trying to hide their true feelings and mood. And more often than not, the issue can be resolved, according to Hakim. But continually covering for lazy coworkers or even taking blame for their mistakes only enables them to keep being lazy. Earlier today, during a meeting, Kyle alluded to the fact that he helped Grace complete a project when he hadnt. It may drive you crazy knowing you work twice as hard as they do. How to Deal with Intelligent but Closed-Minded Co-Workers users shared their best advice on how to deal with working with wildly intelligent people. and have an honest conversation with your offending colleague. Try to separate your emotion from how you communicate. This tip works best once the original negative situation has been confronted. Being able to adjust when circumstances shift is an important part of being a good coworker. So do your best to be fair and approach the situation from their point of view as well as your own. 7 Smart Strategies for Dealing With Moody People - LinkedIn B. Let us know in the comments section if you have come across a closed-minded colleague at work and how you dealt with it. Related Article: How To Overcome Your Shyness And Become A Bold Person. Remember the common mantra: The only stupid phrase is the one not asked. Abike found himself having to cover a lot of her work. Some people who feel inferior try to act superior as a defensive mechanism. In such situations, it is best to simply leave the person with his/her own views. But what if your manager isnt good at his job? Instead, they focus on being the best they can in their tightly defined roles, and contribute in a way that best utilizes their skills. organizational psychologist and co-author of "Working With Difficult People", What I learned from commuting more than 300 hours in one year, Harvard-trained psychologist: This simple, passive-aggressive co-workerand how to cope, You just witnessed racial stereotypingusing this, 3-step response will actually make a difference. If your boss senses you are critical or derogatory of her, that relationship may be over, she says. Is their work affected as well? Emotional Intelligence at Work - HelpGuide.org Published Jun 20, 2019 + Follow Do you get annoyed with colleagues and leaders who have low emotional intelligence? Still, he does whatever he can to support her and make her look good. Do not approach management right away. Know-it-alls like to hear themselves talk. Lets say your coworker doubts your abilities to complete a project correctly, even though you completed the previous three projects without issue. doesnt directly affect you, its probably not a problem you should address. How To Work With Wildly Intelligent People - Business Insider To motivate an upholder, simply remind them of internal and external expectations. 5. It can provide an unexpected opportunity for personal growth and test the limits of your patience. Maybe after some time, they will finally realize that you suggested something with the companys profits in its spirit. Most of your coworkers are probably extremely nice and humble. Its not fair that you go above and beyond and they just skate through work. Thinking about the situation increased her confidence when she spoke to him. Shes talked to a couple of her coworkers about it, and they feel the same. Its possible that your colleague isnt trying to shirk his duties, and hes just in over his head, overwhelmed and burned out. To you, purchasing new business intelligence software makes perfect sense. Besides she is my boss after all, he says. Learn how your comment data is processed. Many studies have shown that people tend to behave in a way that is expected of them. Even after a small talk with him/her you feel yourself worthless and destructed. How to Manage Genuinely Intelligent Employees. 1. Dont let them bring you down with them. It may cause a huge disturbance if you dont know how to deal with coworkers who talk about you behind your back. Intimidators get you to do what they want by implying they can embarrass you or hurt your career. Its possible that your colleague isnt trying to shirk his duties, and hes just in over his head, overwhelmed and, After confronting a lazy coworker, take time to seek the, Simply catalog what you notice and how the actions of others have affected your ability to work and the company as a whole. Shes about had it up to her eyeballs with Kyle, whose superior attitude and desire to treat others as though they dont know how to do their jobs has gotten to her. Signs of Low Emotional Intelligence - Verywell Mind Finding recruitment a bit of a struggle? Then he looked at her and said: Sorry. Add new equipment. You need to realize that lodging workplace complaints, even when completely necessary and justifiable, may negatively affect your relationships with colleagues. After all, to be good at your job, you dont just need smarts. The key to dealing with these types is to use tact and assertiveness. "It's much better to appear uninformed than to give the impression you know something you don't, which can come back to haunt you." [CDATA[*/document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime());/*]]>*/. Every conversation you have with a new coworker will bring you closer to their level. Should you be raising a ruckus or keeping your head down? Toiling under someone who you feel is incompetent can be demoralizing. Hearing enough of this daily may cause you to doubt yourself, even if you are well-qualified for your position. If you are around more people, it could make that coworker realize how they sound to others, causing them to reevaluate how they address you. The Top 25 Qualities of a Good Coworker | Indeed.com One of the best ways to deal with intelligent closed-minded people at work is giving them time to change their behaviour. Grace then kept quiet and allowed Kyle time to respond. Words spoken behind someones back have a way of resurfacing, often causing even more problems. Don't let your insecurities influence your interactions with people. In this case, youd be obligated to step in. Before you know it, youre committing errors on the project and self-fulfilling the prophecy according to the Pygmalion effect. actually deal with them. Copyright 2023 SimonStapleton.com | Powered by Astra WordPress Theme. Are you currently dealing with difficult coworkers? You cant control how your colleagues act, but you can decide to be respectful and not let their actions affect your own work habits and mood. Let them know that their work habits are affecting you and youre not able to do your job properly. Dealing with Your Incompetent Boss - Harvard Business Review Don't compare pedigrees, because they are more a reflection of luck and hard work than intelligence. You know, that kind of fellow colleagues who youre trying to avoid at the kitchen or having a break at the terrace. Managing Your Emotions at Work - Controlling Your Feelings Before Nitpicker coworkers Nitpickers are the must at any office workplace. For example, focus on the potential benefits to . If you need a little inspiration, check out a career strategist's tips for dealing with a job you hate. But if their behavior doesnt directly affect you and your ability to produce quality work, we dont recommend you embroil yourself in this kind of office conflict. A cold person is acting cold for a reason. You can consider things that may be affecting their behavior from their personal life, such as their interpersonal relationships, finances, health concerns, or even other issues they may have at work. There is no workplace without a gossip coworker. It might also be helpful to use a, Dont become influenced by lazy coworkers, It may be difficult to doespecially if your superiors dont take your complaints seriouslybut. 2. Emotional intelligence: 5 tips for working with difficult people This tip applies to all retail workers, but especially introverts: Don't take on customers' problems as your own. "These colleagues are so determined to score points with the boss that they block. You are part of a profiting and successful organisation. Still she got a lot from her experience. Encouraging co-workers to find a project or skill that excites them could be a great way to deflect any negative feelings. Here are 8 tips I use when a coworker makes me feel incompetent at work. Finally, it would behoove you to document the entire process. Plus, it didn't use up as much of my social energy. It will pay off in the long run, guaranteed. While these may be your legitimate feelings, you dont want to encourage your coworker by giving them a reaction. A closed-minded person on the other hand, has a cold tendency to accept any new ideas and is more commonly seen in a working environment. How to Deal with Your Workplace's Mr. or Ms. Know-It-All, this webinar on solving communication problems. I hope you appreciate that Im also intelligent and know what Im doing. If your co-worker is making it difficult for you to feel comfortable at work, it may be time to confront the situation. Find something you genuinely respect about him. Choose happiness. Sometimes, confrontation or asking for clarification will not work to diffuse the situation. To prove it, psychologist Jeffrey Nevid, PhD, proposes a simple experiment: Spend 60 seconds making yourself feel really angry while keeping your mind completely blank.Sure, you can summon up that . Find a non-moody person to talk to . It's important to remember, though, that the status of the person matters: "An intimidating boss who can fire you has real power over you; an intimidating colleague has perceived power," Hakim writes.